trust

trust your boyfriend/girlfriend? not gonna talk about this today but will talk abt trusting a friend instead.

how well do you know your friend? very well? best friend from primary/secondary? know this person so well that you are willing to do all sorts of silly things for them? Don't be silly! you will never know who you are dealing with until the day comes... you will soon see the real face of a so-called friend.

I've never seen such people in my life before.. Given trust by a friend but neither did he appreciate this friend nor see this person as a friend. You are the worst kind of friend i've ever seen.. If a regret list would have to be filled, being your friend and trusted you and helped you in all ways will be on top of the list.. so bring your glasses if you have to next time.

i am lucky that i don't have such friends with me.. i am blessed.. : )

u s . . .

@ work

I was very busy doing works in the office this whole week, skipped a few lunches, not that i am not hungry but there are thousand n thousand things waiting to be done and it must be done quick, before she comes and she is one of the company's boss from Japan.. maybe i should learn japanese? at least i can explain to her when she has doubts.


busy busy busy and it gets me back into the mood, to work hard again.. :)

comfort zone

staying in the comfort zone is no doubt less worries and easy to cope with anything that is going to happen inside this zone.. but there comes a time when you have to make decision and leave that zone and venture into something new, something you are not familiar with and fill with so much of uncertainty.

Of course this is risk-taking, perhaps this is a chance and a good start for you to go further than where you are now. Leaving the comfort zone will help you learn and grow better and i believe in you, take it easy ya..

while you are stepping out of the zone, i am just learning how to leave the zone. :)

12 Feb 2009

is my dear's birthday yesterday.. bought him naughty cupcakes for his birthday and we did had a lot of fun teasing each other and eating the colourful cupcakes. Anyway, the top is kinda sweet, but the cake is absolutely delicious. :)

found them on http://cupcakesbydatinmaryzain.blogspot.com/ or you can view the samples from www.flickr.com/photos/cupcakes_by_datinmaryzain


and guess what? i will be travelling to Bangkok next Saturday instead of April.. wahhaahaa.. feel so excited now.

shopping

went shopping with mummy in Times Square and Sungai Wang today. Bought 4 pairs of jeans, 2 dresses, 3 polo-t and a blouse.. spent a total of i think..306

Really love shopping wey.. especially when there are huge discounts.


As i walked, i heard my name "Bee Yam ~~!!" and i was thinking who is calling me, and guess who, is IRIS. lol.. the world really is small.

ey Iris, eat more le.. remember last time you told me that i was too thin until i can fly when the wind blows? I can say that to you now le... lol

cleaning up

spent a few hours cleaning up my room is quite tiring actually. not only i have to decide what to put where but i also need to decide what to keep and what to throw, and this has given me a hard time. I like to keep things, everything. From storybooks, magazines to souvenirs and even movie tickets, i just keep them all.

This time i throw away three big bags of magazines, books, notes, four small bags of useless things and i also manage to persuade myself to pack some of the souvenirs i bought or i got from friends, thinking of giving them away to the orphans, as Christmas present? not a bad idea ya.. but have no idea where is the nearest orphanage.

My table looks so clean n neat now, and my brother was like "this looks more like a desk, you can find anything on the table previously."

I am happy looking at my room now, feeling healthier also, lol... but how long will this last? one week? or two? I don't know.. :)

I still have my wardrobe to clean. Maybe i can donate some clothes as well...

Please die before me

sometimes no matter how much effort you've made to try to make things better, regardless of what you might have to sacrifice, money, time, anything, things just won't get better... this kind of feeling is so not motivating, feel totally helpless..

wanted to scream out loud to release the anger, the disappointment for being treated in such a way, so unfair.

i wanted you to disappear in my life as soon as possible, i wanted to make you disappear in my life. I only want to live a simple life, so simple that I only demand the most basic things needed to survive. I rather live thousand times poorer than now than having to live with a monster like you. I do think i am still living in the QIn Dynasty, i wonder why..

Please die before me so that i can at least have my life, normal life..

i miss rainy days...

i notice i can only focus reading when i am eating.. this is certainly not good..


"what you eat as lunch just now? anybody buy u lunch?" he asked

"i ate 2 fish lor..."

"fish? ur daddy buy for you?"

"no la, from the aquarium downstairs.."

".............."


I burst into laughter before i finish saying the last sentence...

btw, i really miss rainy days.. besides the horrible traffic jam and holding an umbrella everywhere i go, i prefer rainy days...

有感而发

一个拥抱真的胜过很多东西， 感觉到心里面真得很温暖， 虽然平时都没有很熟络，可是这道大家都是关心大家的，偶尔的问候已经住足够了。。


—————————————————————————


有些人很自我中心，讲话的时候丝毫没有顾虑别人的感受，只是一味的自以为是，自己说的就是对的，别人说全是借口。。 有什么理由认为别人的无能为力就是借口呢？ 每个人都不一样，每个人的学习能力，观察能力，驾车技术和面对任何事情的反应都不一样，可是并不代表别人的就是错的，别人的就是有问题的。。 一意孤行会令身边的人很难堪，或许没察觉到，那是不是你也有问题呢？ 当然若看见朋友做不对的时候，适时的开口是ok的，可是处处的挑剔好像有点过分，而完全不接受别人的解释也不见得有多好。。


学会了在适当的时候说适当的话，适可而止是很重要的。。。 =）

recently i feel so _______________________


yeah, i feel so empty.


nothing really interest me.. I feel empty when i was driving in my car, only concentrating while i am driving, music makes me feel worse sometimes.. I sat in front of the computer, surfing the net hoping to see some thing that will catch my attention... Beautiful dresses do make my eyes n mind feel alive for a moment.. haha.. at least for a while.. I do enjoy my time with friends but the same feeling come back again when i go on my bed..

i notice i get upset more easily these days.. guess i already reached the line.. but i wont let this bring me down, i want to be happy all day again.. I think shopping will help me ease the pain of feeling empty..haha... Mega sales is coming soon..

maybe i'll feel worse when the bills come... :(

today

i woke up at 9am this morning, brushed my teeth, took bath then sat on my chair preparing myself to do what i planned to do.. wanna stay focus n do revision the stack of papers on the table.. feeling happy and still planning what should i take as breakfast.. wholegrain bread? cream roll?

then a call came in at 9.45am before i decide what to eat.. i was told to attend a meeting in the office later at 10.30..

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... .... .... ... ... -_-'

haihh... get dressed, bought two fish balls and rushed to the office, luckily my office is not that far away from home.. Quickily run into the office only to realise later that the meeting will only start at 12pm.... Lost appetite for breakfast instantly...

busy the whole afternoon giving out information the bosses need, and that's not the end.. some works have to be done tonight at home for meeting tomorrow morning.. sien ar..... I lost appetite for dinner as well... did i mention that i forgot to eat lunch?

Few extra inches? maybe cm?

I just got a b'day present, something very cute and erm... very useful for me? haha.. is a Height Increase Device or you can call it a YOKO device. Lol...

Is stated here in the booklet: According to .... Tokyo Research Laboratory.. piyuitary gland stimulation is found to be instrumental to height increases.

YOKO has been found to stimulate "nerve-point" of the feet effectively, which in turn stimulates the pituitary gland for increased hormonal production. Increased hormone production means greater growth of the cartilageneous portions of the bones of the lower body, making real height gain an actual fact.

Fantastic isn't it? I am feeling excited now and i think i would wear it to sleep, just to gain a few inches the next day...lol

From the cover of the box and the explanation, i think this is a product from Japan. However, in the explanation booklet, there is Malay explanation as well, so Japanese made this purposely to sell to Msian? I don't think so leh.. or maybe this is a pirated product.. yeah maybe, but nvm, i will still giv it a try..hahaa..

see, no joke, it comes with a Guarantee Card somemore... so funny.. But it does add a bit of my confidence towards this product... yeah.. a little... =)

So everyone out there, let me try first and i'll tell you the results in maybe.. erm.. 3 months time?

Anyway, Thanks Low Ser Ser and Poon Lai Fong for the present.. hugs

no rain?

the weather is super super hot today... dun feel like stepping out of my office or house, just wan to feel my air-cond...

my grandpa said, "前几天下太多的雨了，下过隆了。。。" and i was like "haahahaha.. got such thing one meh?"

then this conversation reminds me of what my grandma said during tsunami, she said tsunami happen because "海龙王生气了，所以会淹水咯......" i can still remember i laughed until beh tahan.. ..

@ BellaRoma

went there for dinner with hing chun n audrey.... Khai Lim appeared suddenly and joined us at our table..

Sze Mun said, "must come here... sit here n talk only also nvm, i belanja u all ice water.."

-_-

Joseph said, "Thanks for coming, come again for pizza deal, free pizza for u guys next time u come... "

=)

你说的。。。

凡事都有第一次，坏的好的都一样。。。

今天，我在想，我可不可以完完全全的信任你，
答案是：不可以。。。

从来从来，我并没有怀疑过宝贝说的一言一语，我也曾经告诉过你，也告诉过自己，只要是你说的，都是真的。。 我不想浪费多余的时间去做不必要的猜测，疑神疑鬼，我要的是我对你的信任，因为，如果，如果有一天，我怀疑你，我也怀疑我们的感情。。。

将心比心，宝贝时常说，要诚实，你说你不喜欢瞒瞒骗骗的，很无谓。。

很好。。 结果呢？ 结果呢。。。。。。

不要无谓的争执下去，再多的解释真的只像一堆废话，并没有让我觉得好一点。。 真的不要take things for granted, 你并不一开始就应该拥有现在的东西。。

对一段并不能够完全信任的感情，我觉得很无奈。。 以前的我可以大大声地对你说，“只要是你说的，都是真的，你说是就是，不是就不是有，有就有，没有就没有。”

现在，当我想说时，喉咙好像塞住了。。 没办法。。。

his n mine..

i am not in a good mood

this is the decision you've made.. don't tell me you have no choice, you are forced to follow, you don't want this to happen, is just rubbish.. you always tell me, when you make a decision, you will have to bear the consequences, you have no one to blame.. remember what you said, you will have to bear the outcome of your decision.

nothing can be perfect at both side.. you will need to sacrifice something when you r in a relationship and also if you are hoping to have a lasting relationship, otherwise, that's totally up to you...

tired of telling you what i think, i am tired of debating again n again with you.. and what is all this for? The result is the same, so why are we still wasting time trying to convince each other. You have made your decision n is clear, crystal clear.

No doubt this will definitely have some bad impact on yur relationship. I've told you before, if you insist, this will happen. You tell me no, you wan to keep me, you wont disappoint me, i remember almost every word you utter, and it all doesn't make any sense at this time..

I've always try to make you happy, or do something just to see you smile, i make little surprise for you and honestly i didn't do this for quite a long time.. I don't think i still wan to do all these things for you. I put my whole heart into this rship and hoping it to work, to last....zong zi, sien la, dun wan to talk about this anymore.

i dreamt of

Audrey, Pek Yan, Wei Ken, Hing Chun, Wei Chuan and my parents last night..

i dream of my frens more than i dream of my boy, he'll sure be jealous if he knows this... lol

is 131

mistakes i've made.. argh!

double work to be done.. sien le..