farewell turns out to be a jokes-telling session

Woohoo… another yam cha session this time, location: SD McD, host: Miss Iris Ng, guests: Mr Steven & his future wife-Lay Sye, Miss Chan Sze Mun with her future husband-Joseph, Ting Ting, Wei Ken, Hing Chun, the workaholic - Fang Shyuan and of coz the pretty Bee Yam - ME!! lol…. “boh pai se”…and Joker for the day : Miss Iris Ng AGaiN….

Went McD after my work in clinic, supposed to be Iris’s farewell before she left for Melbourne, but anyway, it came out to be a session of telling jokes in the end… As usual, was updating ourselves while eating fries, asking the same old question to Steven & LaySye, telling each other wat significant things tat happened in our life recently, our career, if not, our studies…. And as usual again, Iris was doing her job – entertain us with her jokes… ahahahha…. Sze mun did mention tat tis Iris used to carry a paper in her purse which is filled a list of jokes so that she can refer to it when she hang around with her frens…OMG!!!! Tis is damn funny lor…. Anyway, she said she lost the paper ad….

Joke number 1 (18SX) -
One day, an elephant was talking to this camel,
Elephant : (Iris was trying to show tat Sze Mun is the camel n she pushed her while she is saying this…) eh Camel..…. Very funny lar…. How come u have two “ne ne” on ur back?!!
Camel felt annoyed and angry and told the elephant : hey boy, please look at urself before u talk abt others. Why don’t u ask urself how come u have “gu gu jiao” on ur face?!!

Hahahahahahahah… Sze Mun laughed till her tears also come out lor…

Joke number 2 (Politic + characteristic of different races)-
One day, a Chinese, a Malay and an Indian died in an accident… all three of them went up to Heaven….

In Heaven : when they reached the gate of Heaven, they found an angel there… so the angel told them that they can be alive again as long as they give the angel 5 bucks…

In Hospital : a doctor is there to certified their death.. when he comes to the Chinese, the said, “oh…. This one confirm die ad, no more heart beat!”… Then, he proceeds to the next one which is the Malay, “ hmmm… this one not breathing ad… confirm die ad too!” Then he goes to the next one which is the Indian, when he wanted to say the same thing, the Indian suddenly sit up and look at the doctor… “OH!!!! This must be a miracle, look wat has God done to u!! Never in my past experience that I’ve seen this!!!”……

So the Indian told the doctor wat has happened at the gate of Heaven, the doctor was curious tat the other two victims should be given the same offer as well but why only the Indian is alive again?

So the Indian said this, “ Oh… of coz they both are given the same offer but the Chinese is still negotiating while the Malay is waiting for the government to pay for him…”

Joke number 3 (should be an IQ test actually…) -
Is a simple mathematic question, just answer the following question in 5 seconds time:

1 + 1 + 1 X 0 = ?

and the answer is of coz ZERO right???? You r absolutely wrong!!! All of us being very “pandai”, never even let our brain process the question and we ad gave Iris the answer, ZERO…. Iris laughed and said, “ ei… which school u come from ar? Your teacher never teach that u should times first before you add ar?” This Sze Mun some more dare to say out her wrong answer so loudly… haihh.. meng-sia-sui-kan KUMON and I must say sorry to uncle n aunty for spending so much money on her hoping tat her maths can get better….hahahahahahahah……

Joke number 4 (this one by Ting Ting) -
A Genie was freed by a man and the man was told tat he can have a wish… so the man think n think n think n said, “ erm… I wan a bridge from (let say) Malaysia to China!”.. Genie was reluctant to do such a big project so he told the man to make another wish….
So the man said, “ok… I wan to be able to understand WOMEN!”…
The Genie stoned and replied , “ erm….. one way or two way?”

Joke number 5 (Title : A Dirty Joke by BeeYam) –
Ya… is a dirty joke… so be ready……
A husband just came home from work, was dragging his almost-exhausted-body into the bedroom hoping to see his wife lying there with sexy lingerie waiting for his return, when he opens the bedroom door, he saw his wife was playing with shit……………………………………………………………

Told u is dirty…… wat r u expecting huh?? Censored scene huh?? Hahaha….. hey please lar, u should at least look who is telling the joke mar, since when BeeYam starts talking abt all those censored censored thing one? use ur brain la my dear…

Actually this joke was told by Kuang, I found it extremely LAME n so I told my frens to show how lame is the joke but…. surprisingly, all laugh at the joke so hard that I start to wonder – am I lacking a sense of humour here?
Sze Mun told Joseph this joke as well and Jo is happily spreading the jokes to his frens…wat’s more? Same thing happened after sze mun told his dad the same joke….

Joke number 6 (For those who ad watched the show KingKong) –
Why is King Kong a MALE and not a female?

Know why? Recall back wat is shown in the show KingKong. Wat did King Kong do when he climbed up the tall tall building? Wat did he do there?

Yes.. and u are right…. He “beats aeroplanes” up there…
(haihh….. this is 18SX as well….)


There should be more jokes but I can’t remember ad… too many… haha… know why am I writing these jokes down? First to entertain whoever that is reading my blog, hope tat these jokes can at least earn a smile from u, hehe = )…and secondly, instead of carrying a paper listing all jokes like wat Iris did, I think putting it here will be safer and more durable… hahahahahaha……. Hey Iris, do meet up again before u leave k, in ur house?

Oh ya.. forgot to mention, Audrey called and greet all of us n update us abt her love life… besides, Sze Mun was the Love/Relationship Consultant for the night, her frens kept calling her to ask for opinions… u should start consulting her now before I told her to charge for every opinion given…. Haha….