cleaning up

spent a few hours cleaning up my room is quite tiring actually. not only i have to decide what to put where but i also need to decide what to keep and what to throw, and this has given me a hard time. I like to keep things, everything. From storybooks, magazines to souvenirs and even movie tickets, i just keep them all.

This time i throw away three big bags of magazines, books, notes, four small bags of useless things and i also manage to persuade myself to pack some of the souvenirs i bought or i got from friends, thinking of giving them away to the orphans, as Christmas present? not a bad idea ya.. but have no idea where is the nearest orphanage.

My table looks so clean n neat now, and my brother was like "this looks more like a desk, you can find anything on the table previously."

I am happy looking at my room now, feeling healthier also, lol... but how long will this last? one week? or two? I don't know.. :)

I still have my wardrobe to clean. Maybe i can donate some clothes as well...

Please die before me

sometimes no matter how much effort you've made to try to make things better, regardless of what you might have to sacrifice, money, time, anything, things just won't get better... this kind of feeling is so not motivating, feel totally helpless..

wanted to scream out loud to release the anger, the disappointment for being treated in such a way, so unfair.

i wanted you to disappear in my life as soon as possible, i wanted to make you disappear in my life. I only want to live a simple life, so simple that I only demand the most basic things needed to survive. I rather live thousand times poorer than now than having to live with a monster like you. I do think i am still living in the QIn Dynasty, i wonder why..

Please die before me so that i can at least have my life, normal life..

i miss rainy days...

i notice i can only focus reading when i am eating.. this is certainly not good..


"what you eat as lunch just now? anybody buy u lunch?" he asked

"i ate 2 fish lor..."

"fish? ur daddy buy for you?"

"no la, from the aquarium downstairs.."

".............."


I burst into laughter before i finish saying the last sentence...

btw, i really miss rainy days.. besides the horrible traffic jam and holding an umbrella everywhere i go, i prefer rainy days...